Saturday, 16 July 2011

Goodbye to an old friend

Yesterday we had to make the sort of appointment with the vet that no pet owner ever wants to make- to make sure that our lovely cat Gibson about whom I wrote here would no longer suffer .
I am grateful for all he brought in my life, and extra grateful that he is no longer in pain and discomfort.

I think it is one of the hardest decisions to take  : to have to choose between a life full of pain that unavoidably will end, and a quick death that is the final step but that will bring the end of pain and suffering.I don't like to play God.
I know that if Gibson had the choice he would have like to have stayed healthy . Healthy and  alive. He was very annoyed that he was ill. He complained because he was in pain .In the end I just wanted him to be OK, - and there was no cure-  the only way was the thing I hate most, to go to the vet and put him to sleep.
Did you ever have to make this sort of decision? It's something that leaves you feeling very bad and awful, as surely everyone prefers life to no life.

I am grateful that he is now at peace and no longer uncomfortable.But I wish I could have given him a healthy life back.
I am also grateful for the embroidered and monogrammed linnen handkerchiefs my mum sent to the Modern Country Gentleman for his birthday.
I thought I would have no need for handkerchiefs .How wrong I was.
Did you ever have to make this sort of decision that I had to make this week ?
And  do you think we have the right to ? I still wish a merciful passing away for Gibson in his sleep would have been possible and achieved somehow .

I am , thought, very grateful and relieved he is no longer uncomfortable and in pain.And grateful for the great memories.The vet suggested to crack open the champagne and celebrate his life, as he lived to the old age of 16.
Not today.But tomorrow I may just do that.

 linking to 

22 comments:

Raina Cox said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hopefully, knowing his was a long, full life will be of some comfort.

FABBY'S LIVING said...

I understand your grief as we had to do the same at the vet to our 14 yrs. old pug, Benny, he was my baby and I miss him so...as I write to you I feel so sad for you and me, now that I remember that awful day! It'll take time for you to celebrate anything for the moment, it is so sad!! I am very sorry for your loss. FABBY

Modern Country Lady said...

Raina and Fabby, thanks you much for your kind comments and support.
Yes, it is a comfort he had a long life - and I think a good and happy life.
XOXO
Bea

DogsMom said...

I saw the title and was not sure I could bear to read this. I too lost a dear, dear friend this week and far too soon.
My heart goes out to you.
Know that as difficult as the decision is, you had his best interests and comfort as priority.
Hugs.

Modern Country Lady said...

Dogsmom, I am so sorry to hear you also suffered a loss of a dear friend- and I send you much thanks for your kind thoughts and support.
Hugs back,
Bea

At The Picket Fence said...

Oh Bea, I am so sorry about Gibson. I know that was a painful and difficult decision to make. My Zoe (our puppy dog) is like family to me. I love her so much, so I truly appreciate how hard this is for you as I can't imagine having to make this difficult decision. I am praying that you have peace and that you can remember all of the wonderful times you had with Gibson and all the joy he brought to your life! We so appreciate you sharing about him with us at Inspiration Friday.

Much love,
Heather

Courtney ~ French Country Cottage said...

I am so sorry about your loss of your sweet friend Gibson. I can hear how much you are hurting and how much you love him. Saying a prayer for you and your family and sending love and hugs your way. Thank you for sharing at FNF.

Modern Country Lady said...

Heather and Courtney, thank you so much for your kindness and support and prayers.
XOXO
Bea

Deb said...

The words do not come easy at a sad time like this. We choose to raise and love these precious animals knowing that their lives are so short but it makes the end no less heartbreaking. I lost 2 cats in the last year and although I have done this many times in my life making that final decision tears my heart out. But I have to say that I have never felt that I did the wrong thing. I knew, just as you did, that at this point in the disease our hands are tied and we are not able to make any other decision. What has to be has to be and it is really the last thing you can do with love for your friend. I'm sorry to hear about Gibson. I hope soon you will think of him and it will make you smile. He has a long and love-filled life. He was one of the lucky ones. Hugs, Deb

CAS said...

I'm really sorry for your loss. Our cat, Buffy, died 6 years ago. We had made that tough decision, but at the Vet's office, he gave us one more glimmer of hope. We took her back home, hoping that what the Vet tried would be the miracle we were looking for. She passed early the next morning, hiding under a table. It would have been so much better for her and for us, if we had followed our original decision. It's never easy, no matter what.

Mariette said...

Dearest Bea,

Left you a comment on the 'furbaby-blog'...
Read your comment and knew so that's where I went first before checking this post. A sad day but a courageous day for you as you put him out of his misery. I pray that one day I will have a pet, cat that reaches this wonderous age of 16! Lost one at the age of ½ a year; a neighbor gave him poison because they had birds (he couldn't get to but still...). On Easter Sunday, the body was pushed underneath the wooden door we had next to our pergola for privacy. What a shock! Just had him neutured and raised to behave will and a life was taken. What a grief. Oh, his Mom was the cat that lived at our training college and I fed her each morning. A neighbor, employee shot her after she had this litter (I placed all and kept one myself) as he told us she bothered his rabbits! That hurt me so much. How brutal can some human beings be?! I called the mama cat Spooky. She was so loving and not demanding at all. Grateful for the food I gave her and we had her spayed after that litter too. Ready to enjoy a 'life'...
Our first Spooky here in Dublin got run over at the age of 1½ so no luck so far.
Spicy the Mama cat that we rescued got kidnapped and all we have are her 5 kittens and our Barty who's 7 since March. He came from the Humane Society.
Just hoping that these 7 will have a chance like your Gibson!!!
Lots of love,

Mariette

L'Heure Bleue At Home said...

Dear Bea, your news filled me with great sadness for your loss. Yet, at the same time, I feel a sense of great joy that Gibson had a long and wonderful life with a mother who loved him so much. I do believe that the ones we love and the ones who love us never truly leave our side. It was a hard decision that you had to make but it was made from a place of love. Thanks so much for sharing...
xoxo Chloe

Marilou of Lulu's Lovlies and Heartful Creations said...

I'm so sorry to ear about the loss of Gibson, I read it on another blog. Life is so fragile with our pets as well as humans. No one cares to make that kind of decision but I guess at some point one needs to do what is best for the pet, not what is best for the owner. Try and think of it as an act of love and kindness, like a Mother that gives up a child when they are too young and unprepared for motherhood. Letting go is hard but seeing the suffering is harder to watch. Hugs and prayers are sent your way. Blessing Marilou xoxo

T's Daily Treasures said...

So sorry to hear about Gibson. Yes, I have had to make this same decision. Toni was my dog from the age of 2 until 17 and then had to be put to sleep. Such a hard decision for me and my family. Then again, a couple of months ago, I had to put to sleep my Sweet Kitty. She was a stray cat in our neighborhood that came to my door every morning and evening for food. She sometimes brought her sister. She had been coming for over a year, and then all of a sudden couldn't eat because of a mouth infection that caused constant bleeding. I felt so bad; the vet said we could do nothing for her, so she had to be put to sleep. I never cried so much! Your Gibson was lucky to have 16 wonderful years with you. It is always hard to let go but you made the right decision. It is even harder to see them suffer knowing there is nothing we can do for them. Wishing you peace, comfort and joy! Blessings, Tammy

Modern Country Lady said...

Dearest Deb, Cas, Mariette, Chloe , Marilou and Tammy- thank you all so much for helping me by showing your kindness and support and sharing your stories and experiences.
You are all so kind, thank you for everything.
XOXO
Bea

Gods Little People said...

Dear friend
I am so sorry for your loss of Gibson. That is such a difficult decision you had to make. I have tried it and I found it gut wrenhcing - that feeling of having to play God. I have thought about this so many times - is it ok. I believe that in the end it really is about giving our beloved friends relief from pain. When they are no longer able to live with the quality of life they had, it must be that we help them with this decision. But yes, I've often wondered; would they prefer to go lay in a bush and quietly go in their own way.

Thank you for sharing such intimate thoughts and not least images. How beautiful the way you sent him over to the other side.
xo
Joan

Tamago said...

I saw the news about Gibson at Mariette's. I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been so hard to let go and I can't imagine how awful is the pain you are feeling. But I am sure he was very happy to be with you and loved so much.

Modern Country Lady said...

Dearest Joan and Tamago,
Thank you for your kind comments- yes, he was much loved and that is really what matters, and it is about making sure they no longer suffer, but it is very hard :-(
XOXO
Bea

The Paupers Castle said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I know all too well the pain and mixed emotions you are feeling right now. We just went thru the same thing with our Lexi back on April 30th of this year. I still get teary-eyed every time I think about the experience. We (me, my husband and China our other cat) miss her dearly. It is truly the hardest thing to do as a pet owner. Try to comfort yourself by knowing you will be reunited in the end of our journey here. I truly believe they are looking down and thanking us for stopping the pain! Hugs to you as I know you need it now! Kellie

Grammy Goodwill said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I'm crying as I write to you. I lost my 18 year old kitty last winter. Just today a friend told me she would take me to the SPCA to get another cat. I just can't. The pain is still too fresh. Bless you and your wonderful memories.

Scribbler said...

It's so hard to lose a pet. My sympathy.

Cat said...

It is so very hard, I have made this choice four times and in each case it was the right thing to do but it was still difficult! Last September I made the decision for my eighteen year old calico Molly. She was suffering from hyperthyroid and kidney failure, weighed a mere four pounds (from fifteen at her heaviest) and had a little dementia too. She started to experience difficulty breathing when she purred (which was always) and I knew it was time. I also knew that no matter how hard it was for me, it was the last thing I could do for her. She trusted me, like Gibson trusted you to act on his behalf and decide what was best. You did.

Rest in peace sweet Gibson!